Digital World Statistics

We built a camera just so we could stare at ourselves, and it worked a little too well.

Nobody who says "just one more episode" actually means it, and yet here we are.

It turns out the delete button doesn't work on a subpoena.

The bullies basically unionized, they just call it social media now.

The gift-card scam still works on somebody, every single day.

It's like Cupid has an evil twin, and he runs a call center.

It turns out that every heartbreak has a bank account.

This is the one browser extension advertisers actually seem to fear.

Photoshop basically got promoted to a full-time liar.

It's basically become the drive-thru window of the attention economy.

Somewhere, someone just uploaded a video of their cat again.

The byline might be lying to you, and the bot doesn't seem to care.

We basically let the search bar go and started guessing instead.

It's not really lying, it just has no idea it's wrong.

It's like having an intern who never sleeps and never checks their own work.

The fine print on automation still says humans are required.

It's like Photoshop's evil cousin just learned how to talk.

Five stars, written by somebody who never actually bought the thing.

Somebody should really page the fact-checkers on this one.

It's basically Spotify's version of shouting into the void.

The line to become the next big thing just got a little longer.

The goldfish jokes aren't funny anymore, they're actually being generous.

You didn't choose this ad, it chose you, and it keeps choosing you.

That's a lot of scrolling to show for one lifetime.

"We should catch up soon" is doing a lot of heavy lifting these days.

Cupid basically outsourced the job to an algorithm, and nobody seems to mind.

New jobs keep getting created, just don't send in your old résumé.

The robot never has to file for unemployment. You did.

It's basically employee of the month, every single month, forever.

The robots are winning this one, and they're not even gloating about it.

Autocorrect fixed the typo. Nobody could fix what happened after.

It only takes one text back to miss the brake lights ahead.

This was supposed to be the car that's smarter than you. Turns out it still isn't.

The email looks completely legit, right up until your bank account disagrees.

You clicked "accept" without reading a single word, and so does everyone else.

Yesterday's flagship phone is basically today's paperweight.

There's more gold sitting in the trash than most prospectors ever dug up.

Apparently the world can actually run out of sand. Who knew.

That meme you just sent probably cost more electricity than you'd think.

It sounds surreal, but the cloud genuinely has a drinking problem.

Inbox zero was basically a myth someone invented to sell productivity apps.

Modern life, it turns out, is just being tethered to a wall outlet.

Welcome to the internet. Bring snacks, and maybe lower your expectations a little.

Turns out the information superhighway has a permanent traffic jam.

Most of these sites won't even outlive their own launch party.

Even your backup, it turns out, has a mortality rate.

Big Brother is apparently hiring, and hiring a lot.

It's not paranoia if the speaker really is listening in.

Still nothing so far, and NASA seems just as disappointed as you are.

Somebody, somewhere, is blaming Venus again.

The domain expired, and so did the dream behind it.